Singles Statistics: It's Okay to Go Solo

I'll admit, this Blix was a challenge.  You're wondering why.

It seems that quite a few--okay, nearly all--studies indicate that marriage provides more benefits than being single.  I had honestly thought I could do a great comparison, so no matter your state of relationship, you'd feel content.  Maybe even smug.

I was banking on a long-quoted study showing that only married men were at the top of the Happiness Heap.  They were followed in order by single men, single women...and married women at the rear.  Bummer to find out that study--done in 1972--was flawed.  I was back to Square One.

Research wasn't easy.  First, there are "degrees" of singlehood:  never married, divorced, widowed. So, all categories of being single--arrived at under drastically different circumstances--get clumped together.  "Married" is constant; it's defined as a couple currently married.  (Although no one seems bothered by the happy-factor.  We all know people who are downright miserable in their marriages.  Doesn't seem to matter in research.)  Second, what I could find about being single applied to mostly to women.  Poor single men, they don't seem to merit much study.

But for you, my steadfast readers, I persevered.  And, I glad for it--I can now list some of the great perks that come with being a single person:

* In a study of 2,200 Americans from 48 states, participants were asked to answer the question "Taking all things together, how happy would you say you are these days?"  The scale was 1 (not happy at all) to 4 (very happy).  Results:  Currently married=3.3; Always single=3.2; Divorced=2.9; Widowed=2.9.  Not a big difference, is there? 
* Marriage matters less for women's longevity.  Getting married doesn't do anything special for females. (Men do live longer--probably because the women are taking care of them!)  So single women need not fear a shorter lifespan.  The same is true for health; nothing fazes females!
* Another bonus for females: single women over 60 feel happier and healthier than their male counterparts.  In this British study, one of the reasons was that the women felt relieved to be free from caring for an ailing husband.  They also have a stronger community network, so they're able to get out and about.
* Singles weigh less.  This is a vague statement, but a University of Minnesota study found that people often gain an average of five pounds within two years of getting married.  And, a professor at Cornell University found women often compromise their eating habits more than men.  Married men, especially, weigh more and have higher obesity rates than single adults. Singles will skip meals, or eat light; when married, meals tend to be larger, with several courses.
* Sociable singles score high on happiness scales.  Just having friends and a strong career make a difference. Isolation is what's detrimental.

Frankly, I was hoping for more in the way of glamorous advantages to being single.  Think "Sex and the City."   Really, most singles I know are quite content living solo.  Some are so satisfied, they would never consider marriage again.  You know people like this, as well.  Maybe researchers aren't looking at all the aspects of being coupled--or uncoupled.  Has anyone studied the unchallenged ability to drink straight from the carton?  To paint walls Barney Purple without having to compromise?  To watch "Shirley Valentine" ten times in a row on New Year's Eve...in your pajamas?

If you're interested in learning more about singlehood--and some of the issues facing those who find a solo life to be quite satisfying--I refer you to a fascinating book by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D.  She has studied singles as her career.  In Singled Out: How Singles Are Sterotyped, Stigmatized and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After she debunks ten myths about being single.  She's one fiery champion of singles, and you'll find yourself looking at the "unmarrieds" in a new way. 

Next week, we'll look at the Marrieds.  What's so wonderful about having a spouse?  And why do all those studies claim that marriage is so friggin' fantastic??

Comments

[Melinda Lockard]

I'd like to chime in. Research has determined that up to 50% of our happiness level is genetic. That is, we have a "happiness set point" or baseline from one or both of our biological parents. We still have 50% to influence on our own-- that's the good news! But I just wanted to point out this genetic research, which I firmly beleieve in regardless of our married or single state.