PowerPoint...helping people fall asleep since 1994.
In two weeks, I get to go to Las Vegas for a meeting. Should be fun--I get to see good friends, eat at a Brazilian Steakhouse, and enjoy some sunshine. But, even as I write this, I can already feel the boredom that is about to set in. And I will have some responsibility in causing it.
Why? Because it means I have to create another PowerPoint. Perhaps you, like me, have come to dread attending any kind of meeting, seminar, workshop, class, lecture, retreat....any place where information is likely to be shared. If so, it will be by PowerPoint. Of course, my presentation will be by PowerPoint, as well.
I recall the olden days when we had to use slides. Remember those? It was a hassle just to make slides. I worked at places where it was someone's actual job. We thought it was so inconvenient to get the slides in the proper order, make sure they were right-side up, transport them, fit the tray into the projector, hope the light bulb didn't burn out, hope the slides wouldn't get stuck, and really hope they wouldn't fall out of the tray. Click-click, "This is a slide of...." Click-click, "And here we have..." Click-click. Kind of a nostalgic sound, when you think about it.
Then came computers. Remember the pure thrill of watching your first PowerPoint show? HOW did they do it, anyway? So slick! So modern! So fascinating! I thought I could watch anything on PowerPoint. It made any topic credible.
That initial phase of rapture lasted a while. And there was more! Before long, the tech-minded among us figured out how to do the animations, the fade-ins, the little bounces. Clever, and so much better than those dull slides of yesteryear. I mean, could there be anything more entertaining than those data points racing across the screen, then screeching to a halt, thanks to sound effects?
At the outset, PowerPoint came with an authentic lesson. Because it was new, the best way to learn was from a certified Microsoft instructor; entire businesses sprung up, just to provide training. I can't imagine how many zillions of dollars were spent sending all of us to day-long computer classes, not only for PowerPoint, but also those new-fangled Word and Excel programs. Now, we just ask each other or figure it out for ourselves.
The good thing about the lessons were the tips--tips long since forgotten or ignored:
- Put no more than three bullets on a slide. The slides are meant to be talking points, not the entire presentation.
- If you want to use animation, limit it to a few slides.
- A slide or two per minute is a good pace.
Pretty basic, huh? And when was the last time you sat through a PowerPoint presentation that actually followed any of those?
My own presentation will violate two of those rules. I'm not a big fan of animation, so I'm okay there; it goes from amusing to distracting to irritating, pretty quickly. I think it's more of a male-gadget-preference thing, anyway.
But, I will certainly jammed plenty of information onto my slides! This will include spreadsheets, not understandable by anyone sitting more than three feet away. By putting more on the screen, I don't have to refer to my notes. Heck, I don't even need notes. Call it laziness. Guilty, as charged.
Here's a slide for my upcoming presentation:
Of course, the first words out of my mouth will be: "I know this is hard to see, but..." And the audience will think "...but, you did it anyway, you ding-a-ling!"
Everyone does it. Everywhere. Doesn't matter what the topic or the audience. Because it's so easy to make a presentation, we can crank out slides like crazy. We think more equals better, even when we know it's not true. We put ridiculous amounts of information on a slide, then invariably say, "I know this is hard to read, but..." [...but, I'm doing it anyway. Because I can.]
And those nifty handouts we can print? Admit it, in the beginning, we thought they were heavenly. Saved us oodles of time, compared to the outlines we used to have to develop and type. And admit it again, now you don't even look at them.
I'm sure something will come along to replace PowerPoint. We'll love it at first, then our eyes will begin to glaze over, and we'll wish we were anywhere else but in yet another presentation. PowerPoint will become as obsolete as slide projectors. And everywhere, people will date themselves by saying, "Remember PowerPoint? Can you believe we thought it was great?"
"Death by PowerPoint" is a fantastic and wonderfully accurate phrase I first heard from my son, Andy. He's an officer in the Navy, where apparently PowerPoint is a regular practice. At least, that's Andy's take; to hear him tell it, entire days and weeks are spent in dark rooms getting trained by PowerPoint. I asked him to tell me a few titles for this post; I thought it would be interesting to share what goes on in the military. He couldn't remember any. Not a single one. Our tax dollars at work, folks.
Recent Comments