Happy Father's Day! Hooray for all the dads who loved their children from the day they found out they were going to be fathers. And then from birth on...right up till today. And into all the tomorrows. Best wishes for lots of recognition...and here's hoping you receive some gifts you can actually use. (Fact: buying for fathers is much harder than for mothers. Hence, the endless ties and barbeque gadgets.)
Parenting isn't easy. Fathering has its own set of challenges. It's a different job from mothering. And it's so, so, so important. Kids need their dads just as much as they need their moms. When marriages become strained--or come apart--children must be reassured that they will still be loved by both parents, no matter what. No. Matter. What.
There are oodles of statistics regarding single-parent households and the effect on children. You can look those up for yourself. But we all know enough to understand that it's a tough road for everyone involved.
I headed one of those single-parent households, so I'm something of a Subject Matter Expert. After the divorce, my former husband remarried and chose to take care of his new wife's children, including adopting them. Within a year or so, he was gone from our children's lives. Gone. After that...it was just my kids and me. Through thick and thin. And, believe me, we went through some dismally thin times. Sometimes we'd all be so tired of each other--I'd have given just about anything for a break. I'm sure they felt the same.
There are things that dads do better. Buying an athletic cup comes to mind. Coaching the Little League team. Fishing. Teaching their sons how to treat a woman. Fixing flat tires. Walking their daughters down the aisle.
Without a father, these things either get "feminized" or ignored. Kids have to look to other males for role models. There are only so many hours in a day, and a mother who works full-time simply can't do it all. Plus, we're just not good at the guy stuff. The imbalance without a father is glaring. Onlookers tend to be critical rather than compassionate.
Which brings me to Father's Day. When my kids were little, I hated it. I'd always try to get out and do something with them that day. Miniature golf was a favorite. Maybe a summer movie. A couple of times we tried the batting cages, but those high-speed baseballs zooming directly at my childrens' heads made me nervous. After we got back home, I'd grill hamburgers and hotdogs. We'd get through the day. Years later, they thanked me for being their "dad."
It's a short Blix today. If you're a father, please know how vital you are to your children's lives. Be there for all things, big or little. Cheer them on and help them become responsible adults. It's an enormous job, for sure. Don't leave it for others to do. And don't walk away for good.
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