BoomerBlix

What We Can Learn from Europeans--Part 2

Photos: Wax Museum, St. Augustine, Florida..oldest city in the United States. Suzy helps St. Augustine figure out what he's looking for. A magical moment for both of us...

"The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page."  Sage advice from St. Augustine, who was born in 354.  I don't know where he visited, to cause him to make this timeless statement, but I'm pretty sure Disneyworld wasn't around then.

No doubt about it, travel expands our view. It may be something simple, such as how milk is sold boxed and unrefrigerated in many countries. Or it may be something complex, such as how Muslims have the same values as Christians. You know, do good works, take care of the poor, honor your elders, don't kill each other. When we go away, we should come back feeling a little changed, a little wiser for our experience.  I know that's true for me.

With this in mind, here are several things we can learn from Europeans

Slow down.   One of the striking sights in Europe is the number of cafes. Acres of them, with tiny tables and chairs facing outward. Just pick one and settle in.  Order a drink: coffee, wine, beer, soda, or a bottle of water. With that order, you have ownership of the space for as long as you like.  No need to order anything else. For Americans, accustomed to grab-and-go, just sitting and watching the world go by can feel awkward. But watch the Europeans: they sip their espresso, read the newspaper, meet a friend, get lost in a book. Sometimes they actually just sit!  You don't see people clutching commuter cups as they dash about. It's practically impossible to get a coffee to go, a la Starbucks.

It's not hard to be a little envious of their ability to slip into leisure-mode. It's a skill that we Americans sometimes have to work at, or think happens only on vacation. The Puritan work ethic has been hardwired into our brains; we look at these relaxed Europeans with a mixture of awe that they can slow down at will, and a smidgen of judgment that they aren't being productive. Whatever "productive" means.

Invest in people, not weapons.   One of the reasons the European Union was formed was to prevent war; two devastating wars in less than forty years made Europeans realize there had to be a better way. Social programs instead of military operations. With this in mind,  Europeans pay huge taxes, in exchange for cradle-to-grave "welfare," a term we hate and they love.  

Would you be willing to contribute in order to:

• Be hired to stay home and be the "nanny" for your own baby?  European governments pay new parents to take full leave for a year, with a guarantee that their job will be safe.  Moms and dads can each take a year to give their child a good start. After two years, child care is provided at state-run Kindergartens.
• Have excellent, free--or cheap--education, all the way through college?  The universities are public, so on admission, a student can attend a school such as Cambridge or Oxford at no cost.  Not bad credentials to have on a resume, eh? 
• Know that your country's children are taken care of?  Until age 18, parents receive a monthly benefit check for their children, along with free health care and prescriptions.

For sure, all this costs money, lots of it.  By NOT investing in bombs, fighter jets, or military labor, funds can be channeled into what Europeans consider their most important resource:  people.

Bigger isn't better.  Whether food portions or autos, things are smaller in Europe.  You won't find Big Gulps or Costcos.  A "regular" American car looks like a tank next to the compacts that maneuver their way through the cities.  Order a Coke at a cafe, and you'll be amused by the tiny bottle that's served; then you'll remember when Coke originally came in those tiny bottles.

All major European cities have a greater population density than American cities, even New York City or Los Angeles.  There simply isn't room for big things.  Homes and apartments are smaller, kitchens are smaller, closets are smaller, parking spots are smaller.  Heck--countries are smaller!  So, what people can keep on hand is radically different from what we are accustomed to.  And they are fine with that.  Since space of all types is at a premium, it's expensive to live in cities.  They're fine with that, too.  Instead of keeping two cars, families may have a Smart Car, then rely on the excellent public transportation, or use a bicycle. 

If you're interested in learning more, I'll refer you to "The United States of Europe: The New Superpower and the End of American Supremacy"  by T. R. Reid.

At this point, some of you will surely be asking, if I love the European life so much, why I don't just pack up and move there.  Simple.  Because, I do love my country, warts and all-- the energy, diversity, and bold nature.  The potential and possibilities, the beauty, as well the doctrines on which it was founded.

All I'm saying is that it's not perfect here; we don't have all the answers.  And travel exposes us to other ideas, which ought to be considered.  There are things we can learn, just as we have things to offer.  Complacency is a dangerous thing.  We Americans should never think we have the only, best way.  Never.

 

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What We Can Learn From Europeans--Part 1

 

Credit: beermba.com 

 

With the World Cup going on, I thought it appropriate to reprise a Blix from a few years ago. It's a two-parter, because there is so much to say about what Americans can learn from all those "futbol" countries. I'm certain that if I met this man from this post again today, he would know the name of every American soccer player. Quick: how many players from Belgium can you remember?

************************************************************

 

There’s a whole world outside the United States of America.  And here’s the shocker:  they pay attention to us. 

 

It’s no secret that taxes in the European Union are high.  A guide in the Netherlands told us that taxes can be as high as 50% of a worker’s wages.  I’ll pause here while you gasp…..  Then, I’ll ask if you would be willing to pay more upfront for so many things you are now paying for “on the sly.”  Besides income tax, how about state tax, sales tax, insurance deductibles, prescription co-pays, education, social security, etc.  You can probably think of more. Ever add all those up?

 

In Bruges, I climbed the famous 366-step bell tower.  About two-thirds of the way up, I paused to catch my breath, and photograph the carillon player.  As the musician pounded away with his fists, creating amazing melodies, another traveler shared the narrow stair with me. We jostled a little, exchanging spots.  He only said, “Sorry” in a heavy accent, so I assumed he spoke little English.  We both made our separate ways to the top of the tower. 

 

Walking around, admiring the view, I noticed city names carved on the stone ledges.  Each city had the distance from Bruges next to its name, and an arrow indicating its direction from the bell tower; Amsterdam was 180 kilometers away.   The man strolled over about that time.  Knowing he was a fellow photographer, I pointed out my discovery.  He thanked me in English, asked where I was from.  America, I said, still keeping my answers simple. Then, he surprised me.  “My friends say, never talk religion or politics.  But I must ask you something politics, please.”  Sure, I said, ask away.  “Why not Americans want to have universal health care?  Why not they want to provide for all?  Why they are so afraid?”

 

What could I respond?  I agreed with him.  Yes, absolutely, we should take care of everyone.  Yes, health care should not be tied to full-time employment.  Yes, it was too costly, and would remain out of control, unless we finally took action.  I shook my head sadly.  I had no wise answer for this man, who was eager to talk to a real American, and who was curious to learn what makes Americans tick.  I don’t know, either, I told him. I felt as if I'd let him down.

 

He went on.  Had I watched President Obama’s speech to Congress?  What did I think of the hecklers, especially that guy from South Carolina?  Joe Wilson had apologized, but wasn’t the damage done?   …Okay, now I’m getting a little embarrassed.  I offered the weak excuse that I’d been traveling, so I hadn’t followed the news.  Then again, he’d been traveling as well.  He had stayed informed, and knew more about current events than I did at that point.  A total stranger, on the top of the Bruges bell tower, understood more than the average American.

 

Europeans watch American news, read about it in their newspapers.  They follow our elections closely.  They study our issues.  They seem to grasp that we’re all in this together now.  They are very clear that what we do affects them, too.  It affects the world. 

 

Imagine, a European man knows the name of the politician from South Carolina.  Quick:  Can you name three leaders in Europe, let alone someone, anyone, in Parliament?  I didn’t think so.  I can, only because I read a London paper during my layover in Heathrow Airport. 

 

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness”  wrote Mark Twain.  How true. It's dangerous to have such narrow views, to think that only what we think and do matter, without concern for bigger consequences.   Even more dangerous to think that keeping up with Justin Bieber and the Kardashian Klan is more important than health care for all our citizens.

 

 

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Gun Control, the NRA...and Me

 

Credit: sheknows.com

I have three sons. None of them was allowed to have a toy gun. That didn't mean they wouldn't fashion one out of a tree branch or other material, but I absolutely refused to provide them with a device that could kill. (My daughter never had a Barbie, either, but that's a Blix for another day...)

Why would anyone want their child to even pretend to shoot somebody? Maybe it was Vietnam. Maybe it was our own fathers with too-fresh memories of World War II. Maybe it was the television Westerns of my youth. Maybe it was a past life thing.  My kids pouted, but I held firm. No. Guns. Period. They got older and learned to fish. All was well.

Time passed. Columbine happened. The country was horrified...for awhile. And now, over time, hundreds of children, students, movie-goers, concert-goers, and mall-goers have been murdered. Could there have been anything more tragic than those first-graders at Newtown? 

Apparently not a concern. At least not to Congress...

Credit: Huffington Post

I have continued to be outraged at the lack of congressional response to the ongoing slaughter of innocent people. Like many of you, I have called my representative, signed petitions, written letters to the editor. Here's my current congressman's stance, taken from his website: "Gun ownership is a birthright in America.  As a proud member of the NRA, I will support legislation that protects our 2nd Amendment rights."

When I moved to Florida, I got a first-hand baptism to a different way of thinking. First came a co-worker whose daughter would be celebrating her fourteenth birthday soon. What does every soon-to-be high school freshman girl want? Why, her own gun license, of course! "I want her to learn to defend herself," her mother explained to my obvious lack of understanding. She spoke to me slowly, since clearly I was the Doofus from another planet. 

What came next was even more astounding. "Great news! If you can get four people together, 'they' (The Police Department? The Sheriff? The FBI?) will come to your house, do the training, and you can get a license to carry a concealed weapon."  WHAT????  Like a Tupperware party? Yep, two other colleagues were excited with this news.  (...Did I mention that I work at a university?)

I've been slow in recognizing the power of the NRA, one of the three most powerful lobbying groups in Washington. It's got to be about more than just the Second Amendment. I don't pretend to be an expert in constitutional law. But I do know the scent of power when I smell it. And I know unnecessary loss of life when I see it. (Click here to see NRA campaign contributions and how 80% of their candidates were elected. Maybe even one of yours. You will understand why gun control is not changing anytime soon...)

It's my understanding that our Founding Fathers included the Second Amendment for individuals in a state militia--a collective purpose--not for zealots to haul their semi-automatic weapons into Billy-Bob's Diner. Nevertheless, the state of Georgia now permits anyone over 18 to carry a gun into a public place: restaurants, churches, bars, even the Hartfield-Jackson airport--the busiest in the world.

April 23, 2014: Surrounded by people with guns, Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal made the Peach State one of the gun-friendliest places on the planet.

Where will it end? Maybe a better question: Will it ever end?  When Joe the Plumber can say, one day after the recent University of California Santa Barbara shooting: "Your dead kids don't trump my Constitutional rights..." we are all diminished.

And maybe all in danger. 

Please just take your kids fishing. Please.

 

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Mom Jeans Are Back! And They're Cool!

Can there be a better Mother's Day gift than to know that Mom Jeans are back? And they're cool!

A mere five years ago, I wrote a Blix about Mom Jeans.  When my blog was picked up by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, the post drew 4,000 readers the first day. Clearly, I had discovered a topic that was begging to be discussed. At the time, they were a fashion disaster made even more so by the Saturday Night Live skit with Amy Poehler, Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph. Who can forget: "I'm not a woman any more...I'm a Mom."

Urban Dictionary defines Mom Jeans like this:
"Worn by the 40+ crowd. The butt will be compressed so it doesn't stick out. It will instead be pushed to the sides, making it look far wider than it really is."

That was then, this is now.  

Topshop--you know, where Princess Kate hangs out--has declared Mom Jeans to be stylish. There is an entire line of the high-waisted, long-zippered pants. Stretch fabric out, soft denim in.

Erica Hanks, a wardrobe sylist, calls the Topshop jeans--ready?--"A hipster take on the new trend. It's their cheeky way to name a high-waisted boyfriend jean."  Or...perhaps women are tired of squeezing into skinny jeans, battling muffin tops, or exposing their butt cracks to the world. Perhaps they want to be comfortable again.

Here in the USA, you can find these comfy classics at Urban Outfitters...with or without the rips and holes. About $70. You can probably also wander down to your local resale shop and pick up a vintage pair for a couple of bucks. But you better hurry--they have been discovered and will soon be swept up by adolescent fashionistas.

If Miley Cyrus is wearing them, the trend is clear.

As I wrote in my first Blix on Mom Jeans, mothers never get enough credit for their splendid sartorial sense:

"...Face it, mothers, and sensible women everywhere, have always been the unsung fashion divas.  Who discovered that flats were more comfortable than stilettos, could be downright stylish, and didn't cause foot paralysis?  Who pioneered the chic layered-look, donning thick sweaters over whatever they were wearing, albeit just to stay warm?  Who carried the prototype of today's enormous handbags--I believe they went by the unglamorous name of  "totes" and didn't cost $900--back in the day, just so their children could have a steady supply of snacks and Matchbox cars?  And when the current low-slung, skin-tight jean phase reverts to one of comfort--and it will happen!--who will likely not receive credit where credit is due?  It won't matter, moms will already be on to the next trail-blazing trend.  Let the young-uns think it's their idea.  Fine, that's what females have already been doing with the men in their lives since before the discovery of fire.  Feed them the concept,  let them run with it, applaud their cleverness."

Yes, in 2009, I predicted this would come to pass.

So, go ahead, Gwyneth Paltrow, Chloe Sevigny, and Anne Hathaway. Strut your stuff in your Mom Jeans and let the world think you've discovered something new and glamorous.

Me, I'm headed to the back of my closet. 

Keurig, Coffee Pods…and the Environment

 

Source: coffemarvel.com

Last November, my sister and I agreed to get our 85 year-old mother a Keurig-brand coffee maker for Christmas. For as long as I can remember, my mother has made one pot of weak coffee in the morning and reheated it, cup by cup, all day. We figured it was time for her to enjoy a fresh cup of coffee any time of the day. That she had earned the right to step away from the Folgers.

It seemed so simple.

Following the conversation, we went on separate Google searches. My sister looked for the best Keurig bargain. I started to hunt for information on those handy little pods. The pods seemed like mini-miracles: Choose your brand, your strength, your flavor. In fact, choose your beverage. Not a coffee person? Pick tea! Pick apple cider! Just coming in from building a snowman? Hot chocolate in a jiffy! At last count, there were more than 200 flavors and varieties. What's not to love, right?

And yet. I couldn't get past the fact that these cartridges had no where to go after their minute-long brewing cycle...except to landfills. I kept checking and checking. Who--in this day and age--would invent something so un-green? Especially Keurig's parent company, Green Mountain Roasters, Inc.? (Actually, the companies have merged--now called Keurig Green Mountain.) These are the same folks who adore composting, solar power, and fair trade? Geez, they're even located in Vermont! It didn't fit...at least for me.

Consider a few points of possible concern:

• The National Coffee Association tells us that nearly 1 in 5 adults enjoyed a single-cup beverage at home this morning. It's second only to traditional drip brews, such as Mr. Coffee. 
• Americans paid $3.1 BILLION in 2013 for the convenience of "K-Cups."
• All the K-Cups produced in 2013 would circle the globe almost eleven times. (Mother Jones)
• Green Mountain only makes five percent of its nifty pods out of recyclable plastic. And, for that five percent? People have to remember to peel the aluminum cap off the little cup. And empty out the grounds. Fat chance.

Make no mistake, I understand that single-cup coffeemakers are here to stay. I also get the beauty of convenience, as well as choice. That's what we Americans are known for. My children own Keurigs. So does my sister. And now, of course, my mother. (She adores Gloria Jean's Hazelnut.) Trust me, there are times when I've thought how sweet it would be to brew a quick Chai in the afternoon or a camomille at bedtime.

"You should get one," urged my sister, who has become an authority on the various models, as well as their benefits. "We use ours all the time. When the kids come home, they just make their favorites."  I explained that I couldn't do it--not until there was a way to conveniently recycle the pods. Not to be deterred, she pointed out that there were fill-it-yourself pods; you just use your own coffee, pack it in, and voila! I can't imagine why I would go to that much effort. That tiny filter still needs to be rinsed out. Why not just make a small pot of coffee? Or use a French press?

Beyond the pods themselves, there are three other reasons I won't be getting a Keurig (or any other single-cup coffee maker) anytime soon:

1. Sustainability.  Keurig Green Mountain isn't in a big hurry to address the issue of the waste its pods are producing. K-Cups were designed to be garbage. No big deal. The company statement is something along the lines of "Yeah, we know this is getting to be a problem. We're aware, and we'll work on it." Indeed, in 2013, out came the "2020 sustainability targets" which include things like-gasp!-recycling.  They even call these targets "ambitious." Only six years away...

2. Styrene. For those of you who are already owners of one-cup beverage makers (one in three Americans use a Keurig at home or at work) there's the teeny-tiny question of the carcinogenic properties of those handy pods. Keurig spokesperson Sandy Yusen calls the recycling issue "an interesting challenge."

Why? Because K-Cups include #7 plastic, which falls under the "other" category of plastics.  Yusen touts  the Keurig #7 as BPA-free and safe for consumers. But...the National Resources Defense Council feels otherwise. "You don't know what it (#7) is," claims NDRC's Darby Hoover. The big concern is that polystyrene is in the mix. It contains styrene, the chemical--and carcinogen--that destroys the nervous system. Who's affected?  The workers making the K-Cups. (You'll also find styrene in tobacco smoke and styrofoam containers.) Keurig calls their #7 "proprietary" and won't confirm/deny the presence of styrene.

3. Cost. Don't pretend to be surprised to find out that those made-to-order beverages are expensive.  A standard pod of Green Mountain coffee runs about 68 cents. The New York Times did an analysis of the single-cup costs. Ready? Sit down. "Single-brew coffee ends up costing more than $50 a pound, even for Folgers." You can get the most expensive Starbucks bean for about $13 a pound.

Steadfast readers already know that I am a bit of a nut when it comes to recycling. I tote my own grocery bags and refuse the bottled water at hotels and conferences. It seems obvious to me that it's important for all of us--consumers and manufacturers--to agree to keep our precious earth as healthy as we possibly can.

Sometimes, though, I feel like the lone voice in the desert. But even one person matters. Until I can recycle those little pods, I will continue to grind and brew my coffee in the out-dated way. Anyone out there with me on this? Anyone?

Sources for today's Blix: Mother Jones, The Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, The Oakland Press

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Tuesday Tribute: Jane Goodall Turns Eighty

 "If you give a girl a monkey"...which Jane Goodall's father did when she was a child. She named the toy chimpanzee Jubilee, and thus began her fascination with animals. And Africa. Jubilee still sits on Jane's dresser in London.

Wow! Last week it was Gloria Steinem, this week--April 3--it's Jane Goodall's turn to celebrate her 80th birthday.  1934 is certainly giving us some remarkable people. And it's only April.

Imagine knowing you want to work with animals--primates, to be specific--but you have no scientific training. None. (Although later, you will be "fast-tracked" at Cambridge.) All you know is that no one has really studied primates in their natural habitat. So, at 18, you take a job as secretary, and a second job with a documentary company, to save for a trip to Africa.

We all know what happens.  Here's a link to her amazing biography, from the Biography Channel. Take a minute to refresh your memory: 45 years in Tanzania; two years before the chimpanzees were comfortable enough to let her get within 30 feet; the only human ever accepted into chimpanzee society.  

"When I look back over my life, it's almost as if there was a plan laid out for me--from the little girl who was so passionate about animals, who longed to go to Africa, and whose family couldn't afford to put her through college. Everyone laughed at my dreams. I was supposed to be a secretary in Bournemouth."

These days, Jane--at 80!--travels 300 days a year. She is an outspoken advocate for ecological preservation, animal rights, and a vegetarian diet. 

"Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with people who are doing something you don't believe is right."

Happy Birthday, Dame Goodall!

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 Photo: Getty

This is NOT about feminism; or how you feel about the woman who took care--full-time-- of her mother for six years before leaving for college; or the fact that breast cancer is neither liberal or conservative; or that love can eventually happen, at age 66; or that a spouse's death is neither liberal or conservative.

Instead, celebrate the brave and the passionate, whether they are male or female. The world needs these people--whether they are Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein…or Gloria Steinem.  They know they are different and go about their lives doing what they do best: Being Themselves.

"Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning."  That's not such a radical quote, now is it?

If you missed it, here is the Op-Ed from The New York Times (March 22, 2014)

ON Tuesday, Gloria Steinem turns 80.

Do not bother to call. She’s planning to celebrate in Botswana. “I thought: ‘What do I really want to do on my birthday?’ First, get out of Dodge. Second, ride elephants.”

Very few people have aged as publicly. It’s been four decades since she told a reporter, “This is what 40 looks like.” Back then many women, including Steinem herself, fudged their age when they left their 20s, so it was a pretty revolutionary announcement. A decade later she had a “This is what 50 looks like” party at the Waldorf for the benefit of Ms. Magazine. Steinem, who has frequently said that she expects her funeral to be a fund-raiser, has been using her birthdays to make money for worthy causes ever since. Before heading off to Botswana, she, along with Rabbi Arthur Waskow, was feted at a “This is what 80 looks like” benefit for the Shalom Center in Philadelphia.

Ever the positive thinker, Steinem composed a list of the good things about starting her ninth decade. A dwindling libido, she theorized, can be a terrific advantage: “The brain cells that used to be obsessed are now free for all kinds of great things.”

“I try to tell younger women that, but they don’t believe me,” she said in a pre-Botswana interview. “When I was young I wouldn’t have believed it either.”

Her famous hair is colored, but otherwise, there’s been no outside intervention. She likes to recall a friend who proudly reported having rebutted the feminist-got-a-face-lift rumors by announcing: “I saw Gloria the other day and she looked terrible.”

Actually, she doesn’t look terrible at all. She looks great. She looks exactly the way you would want to imagine Gloria Steinem looking at 80.

Steinem occupies a singular place in American culture. In the 1960s and 1970s, the whole concept of women’s place was transformed — discrimination was outlawed, hearts and minds were opened. In the history of our gender, this might have been the grandest moment. There were all kinds of reasons that the change happened at that particular time, and a raft of female leaders who pushed the movement along. But when people think about it, Gloria Steinem is generally the first name that pops up. She’s the face of feminism.

“It’s a big gift to be recognizable as part of something that matters to people, but that’s not the same as being responsible for something,” she said mildly.

There are two reasons that Steinem turned out to be the image of the women’s liberation movement. One did indeed have to do with her spectacular physical appearance. For young women who were hoping to stand up for their rights without being called man-haters, she was evidence that it was possible to be true to your sisters while also being really, really attractive to the opposite sex. (An older generation tended to be less enthusiastic. The Washington Post columnist Maxine Cheshire once called her “the miniskirted pinup girl of the intelligentsia.”)

“I think for her as an individual, in one sense aging has been a relief,” says her friend Robin Morgan. “Because she was so glamorized by the male world and treated for her exterior more than her interior.”

But the interior always mattered. The other thing that made Steinem unique was her gift for empathy. Women who read about her or saw her on TV felt that if they ran into her on the street, they would really get along with her. And women who actually did run into her on the street felt the same way. More than a half-century into her life as an international celebrity, she remains stupendously approachable, patient with questions, interested in revelations. When she goes to events, young women flock around her. All celebrities draw crowds, of course. The difference is that when Steinem is at the center, she’s almost always listening.

Ruchira Gupta, a journalist and activist, recently toured India with Steinem to publicize “As if Women Matter,” a collection of Steinem’s writings repurposed for an Indian audience. The lines of people wanting to take pictures, ask questions and share stories overwhelmed Gupta, who is 30 years younger. “I would say: ‘I can’t do it, Gloria. This is too much. Why are you giving so much time?' ” Gupta recalled. Steinem, she said, told her: “This is the only opportunity you might have for human contact with this person. So how can you not engage?”

Steinem still spends most of her life on the move. (The word “still,” she said wryly, now has a tendency to enter into conversations with some regularity.) Today Botswana, tomorrow India, Los Angeles a week from tomorrow. Gupta says there are new invitations for book tours in Bhutan and Bangladesh. Steinem has never taken up sports and gets her exercise, she says, “just running around airports and cities.”

MOST of what she does involves moving the movement forward. Speech to meeting to panel to fund-raiser. She frequently travels alone but it’s not lonely, she says: “On the plane I have my flying girlfriends, who are called flight attendants.” (Flight attendants play a large role in Steinem’s life. Sometimes they get her first-class meals when she’s flying coach. We will now stop to contemplate the fact that Gloria Steinem is 80 and still flying coach.)

She has a network of friends around the world, some of whom she has known from the early days on the barricades. “I’ve noticed that we all of us sort of cling to each other more,” says Robin Morgan. “We say ‘I love you’ at the end of conversations. We call to say, ‘It’s very cold out — did you wear an extra scarf?’ There’s a lot of tenderness.”

Photo

 

From left: Betty Friedan, Elinor Guggenheimer, Eleanor Holmes Norton and Gloria Steinem, among the founders of the National Women’s Political Caucus, in July 1971.CreditDon Hogan Charles/The New York Times

Her intimate circle is mainly female. But in her good-things-about-80 list, Steinem wrote about the advantages of turning former boyfriends into friends: “Your old lovers get to be your really old lovers, and you can’t remember who broke up with who, or who got mad at who — just that the two of you remember things that no one else in the world does.” But she’s not planning on adding to their number. Recently, she recalled, she met a young man in her travels and thought, “If I was younger, we’d have had a great passionate affair for two years and been friends the rest of our lives.”

It wasn’t a wistful thought, she says. It was an observation. “I didn’t regret it. That’s the advantage of shifting hormones.”

She has no bucket list of unvisited countries. Asked if there are any people she’s always wanted to meet, she pauses, thinks for a while, and suggests Marleen Gorris, a Dutch film director, and Sven Lindqvist, the author of a book on genocide. Many women, if stumped, would just blurt out something like George Clooney. “That’s funny you mention that,” she said. “I just talked with George Clooney yesterday.”

Continue reading the main story

“Fifty was a shock, because it was the end of the center period of life. But once I got over that, 60 was great. Seventy was great. And I loved, I seriously loved aging. I found myself thinking things like: ‘I don’t want anything I don’t have.’ How great is that?” But, she added, “80 is about mortality, not aging. Or not just aging.”

IT’S a challenge she’s actually wrestled with before. One of the interesting things about being Gloria Steinem is that so many of her casual musings are transcribed by reporters. It turns out that on her 70th birthday she told Time, “This one has the ring of mortality.” Obviously, she got over that and it’s very easy to imagine Gloria Steinem being interviewed at 90 and saying that turning 80 was stupendous, but now it’s time to get seriously serious.

Robin Morgan sees Steinem at 80 as a continually evolving work. “She is a better organizer now than she ever has been. She’s a better persuader. She’s a better writer than she ever has been if she’d give herself the time to sit down and write.”

That last — Steinem’s longstanding battle with writer’s block — weighs on her. She’s been working for more than a decade on a book about life on the road, and it has resisted all her efforts to get it finished, including four stints at a writers’ colony. When asked whether she has any regrets, Steinem says: “Well, actually it’s not so much what I would have done differently. It’s that I would have done it much faster.”

Steinem has always been such a positive cheerleader for the future that we really do expect, on one level, to hear her come up with some strategy for standing up to mortality. She’s always had a victory in mind, a vision of a better tomorrow where there would be no hierarchy of gender or race or income, where life flows as seamlessly as it seems to do in the stories she tells about the early Iroquois or Cherokee.

You do sort of count on her having a plan for the next stage. “We’re so accustomed to narratives, we expect there’s going to be a conclusion, or explanation or answer to the secret,” she said. “And probably the answer is, there isn’t.”

But there’s always an elephant to ride.

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The Super Bowl Coke Commercial: Really?! Where's the "Melting Pot"…??

I'm angry. Mad. More than that, I'm livid. Let me say it again...LIVID!

What started out as a sweet and nostalgic 40-year-later riff on "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing" has become a policital commentary on just who belongs in America. Because of a commercial. For a soft drink.

Can anyone help me out here?

Even if you're not a football fan, you're surely aware that gazillions of dollars are spent on the Super Bowl commercials. In fact, 43% of viewers tune in for the ads and the socialization that now comes with this championship game. It's a party as much as a sporting event.

Count me among the 43%, although, this year I was cheering for the Seahawks. Twelve years in Seattle entitled me to be an "offsite" fan.

I had my snacks. I settled in to watch the game...and the commercials. When "America the Beautiful" started to play, I stopped what I was doing to watch. LOVE that song, would vote for it to be our national anthem. The cinematography was gorgeous. The people were authentic. The vocals were angelic. I was captivated. In fact, I got teary.

Did I understand all the languages? Heck, no. Did I get the concept? Hell, yes! And it was perfect.

Then came the fallout. Instant outrage. The Twitter world went wild with the hashtag "#SpeakAmerican."  Why? Because the song wasn't sung entirely in English. (Which I'm guessing is the same as "American.")

Here's an example: "When my family saw this commercial, Coke products became banned in our home," said a certain David Rowell. "This is America. We speak English here. I'll choose other products besides Coke."

Brain Death: My Experience in Organ Donation

 


Two recent news stories about brain death--and the confusion surrounding them--prompt this Blix.  I thought a long time before deciding to write about this topic; those of us who have spent a career in the healthcare niche of organ donation tend to shy away from controversial stories that might have an impact on the public's opinion of transplantation.

This will not be a controversial Blix. My intention is to share what it's like to work as the link between a sudden tragedy and the subsequent heroic act of kindness.  And why we donation folks do what we do.

First, a short explanation of brain death. There are two ways to die. The first is the most common, and one we're all familiar with: cardiac death. The heart stops beating, breathing ceases, and a person is pronounced dead. It's not hard to grasp that a life has ended.

The second way is called brain death. Here, the brain itself suffers an unsurvivable injury. It can be something obvious like a gunshot wound to the head or a car crash with visible trauma. Possibly a drowning accident. There may be no other injuries to the rest of the body, but it's clear that there will be no recovery from the event.

The brain death diagnosis that is most confusing has no outward signs. The cause may be a stroke, an aneurysm, or anything that stops oxygen from getting to the brain.  A heart attack, a blood clot, a seizure. A fall that resulted in a broken neck or a subdural hematoma. Without constant oxygen, the brain literally dies. But because the person still looks normal, and the machines are doing the work of breathing, it's difficult to believe that the lack of responsiveness is not just temporary. The chest rises and falls, thanks to the air being moved in and out by the ventilator. The body feels warm, because the blood is circulating. Surely, modern medicine will be able to reverse this "coma."

Sadly, it's not a coma. There will be no waking up. You will never hear anyone in organ donation talk about "life support."  A misleading term...there is no life. If the ventilator were to be disconnected, the lungs would no longer function.  Everything is artificial, including the drugs that are maintaining the blood pressure and the heating blanket that is providing warmth. As impossible as it seems, death has occurred.

Declaring death is the work of physicians, and the responsibility is enormous.  When it comes to brain death, every measure and resource at hand is used. I am not a doctor, and can't speak as one. I will say that every single brain death evaluation I was involved in--probably 500 over the years--was done with extreme expertise and absolute consideration for the possible outcome.  There are defined and stringent standards for this solemn task. While each hospital may have its own brain death policy, the procedure includes double measures for verification. Respect for life is never compromised. Never.

When I was an Organ Recovery Coordinator, the task of explaining brain death fell on me. I would be called to the hospital, review the brain death declaration, and often go to the bedside of the potential donor to do my own informal examination. (Belt and suspenders here.) Then I would meet with the family. Over time, I learned to offer a simple comparison--people are numb and can't handle much in the way of medical terminology. Picture a swing, I would tell them. You hop on, pump, and get really high. Then you jump off. There's no one on the swing, but it keeps going for awhile. That's brain death. They understood. During my career, only two families declined donation. That's okay, too.

Could Facebook Go Away? Maybe…It Causes Loneliness and Miserable Feelings

So. Facebook has over one billion users. But there is growing concern that there could be an upcoming bailout. Why, you ask? We can't be without it! In fact, we're addicted! Updates, photos, recipes, motivational quotes. Connections, long-lost friends, classmates, and lovers. Who doesn't want all those things, in one handy place?

It seems that younger users--and by this, I mean college-aged adults--find themselves feeling miserable after reading what their friends are posting.  According to a study at University of Michigan, the more this group used Facebook, the more glum they felt.

Straight from the abstract: "We text-messaged people five times per day for two weeks to examine how Facebook use influences the two components of well-being: how people feel moment-to-moment and how satisfied they are with their lives. Our results indicate that Facebook use predicts negative shifts on both of these variables over time. The more people used Facebook at one time point, the worse they felt the next time we text-messaged them; the more they used Facebook over two weeks, the more their life satisfaction levels declined over time."

Wow. 

I remember college being one of the best times of my life. All the fun, yet without the responsibilities that would come after graduation. Friends, freedom, and the chance to ease into adulthood. Sure, there were those classes, but it all managed to get done. Visits back home, maybe just enough to do laundry and get a few doses of home cooking...then eagerly returning to campus. I can't say that I ever truly felt "miserable."

Perhaps we were fortunate to be unencumbered by social media; we didn't have great awareness of what others were doing. Participants in the study reported feeling lonely and isolated.  During the NPR segment I listened to, one young woman said that she was considering closing her Facebook account. "Everyone's life seems so much better than mine," she tried to explain. "I read posts about 'We're at the movies' or see a picture of my friends at a new restaurant.  I feel like I'm the only one who's not out having fun."

Really?

I don't quite know what to think about that. Certainly there has to be a basic level of understanding when reading others' posts. No one has a perfect life. Does the ability to either self-filter the posts ("Oh, that's just her, always gloating...") or to be glad for someone ("Yippee! I know he's been craving Thai food!") only develop over time?  Can a bright and promising 20-something actually feel as if he's the only one who's not living the dream on a Friday night? Does comparison by social media matter that much?

More from the researchers, regarding the negative outcomes: "They [the outcomes] were not moderated by by the size of people's Facebook networks, their perceived supportiveness, motivation for using Facebook, gender, loneliness, self-esteem, or depression.  On the surface, Facebook provides an invaluable resource for fulfilling the basic human need for social connection. Rather than enhancing well-being, however, these findings suggest that Facebook may undermine it."

A quick look at the graph below will show why the study's results matter, even though the sample size was small.  If 29% of users become disenchanted with Facebook, there is a lot at stake.

And while Facebook use by older adults is on the upswing--Boomers used to be 4%--we're still not driving the bus, by any means.  I'm also guessing we don't feel bad when we use it. We're enjoying it for all the right reasons: to connect, to chat, to check-in. Then we go do something else for awhile. We're tolerant of our differences, and excited for our friends who are having a good time.  

It's interesting, this notion of social media and how it affects us. We've all read the tragic stories of cyber-bullying and lives cut short.  Perhaps we should be grateful to have escaped this intense way of communicating.

Makes passing notes in class look downright healthy.

 

 

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