I didn't write it--sure wish I had. Neither did Maya Angelou, although she gets 99% of the credit. No, it's Pamela Redmond Satran who has watched her wildly-popular poem get shared, placed on posters/mugs/t-shirts, and be attributed to the late Ms. Angelou since May 1997. (Within a month of the same year, Chicago Tribune writer Mary Schmich wrote the famous "sunscreen speech" that would be credited to nearly everyone who thereafter gave a commencement speech.)
How must it feel to have written something so spot-on that it not only takes on a life of its own, but becomes permanently associated with one of America's most-esteemed authors? If it were me, I'd be royally pissed, because no one could possibly believe I'd written anything so good. Maya must have been a magnet for anything inspirational. When the United States Postal Service released the Maya Angelou commemorative stamp last year, the stamp included a 1967 phrase from another ripped-off poet, Joan Walsh Anglund: "A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song." Oops.
Having done my bit to set the record straight, the poem is still a wonderful perspective for every woman, no matter our age or experience. It's a personal reminder to me of how far I've come...and that I still need to get a cordless drill.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
Enough money within her control to move out
And rent a place of her own
even if she never wants to or needs to
Something perfect to wear if the employer
or date of her dreams wants to See Her in an hour
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
A youth she's content to leave behind
A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her Old Age
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
A set of screwdrivers,
a cordless drill, and a black lace bra
One friend who always makes her laugh
And one Who lets her cry
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
A good piece of furniture not previously owned
by anyone else in her Family
Eight matching plates,
wine glasses with stems,
And a recipe for a meal that will make
her guests feel Honored
A feeling of control over her destiny
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
How to fall in love without losing herself
HOW TO QUIT A JOB,
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT
RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP
When to try harder
And WHEN TO WALK AWAY
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
That she can't change the length of her calves,
The width of her hips,
or the nature of her parents
That her childhood may not have been perfect
But it's over
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
What she would and wouldn't do for love or more
How to live alone
Even if she doesn't like it
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
Whom she can trust,
Whom she can't,
And why she shouldn't take it personally
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
Where to go
Be it to her best friend's kitchen table
Or a charming inn in the woods
When her soul needs soothing
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
What she can and can't accomplish in a day
A month
And a year.
Written By: Pamela Redmond Satran 1997
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